He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize
