6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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