I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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