Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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