Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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