Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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