would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
