Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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