Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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