She's JV to your varsity
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Randomize
