ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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