I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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