I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
