Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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