1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
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