I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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