You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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