can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
