She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
