If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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