I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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