i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
