He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
