Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
