He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
It's blow job season.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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