i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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