I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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