Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
