I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
