anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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