i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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