Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
