Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize
