Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
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