At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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