I'd wear matching sweaters with you
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
