I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
