i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize