used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
