is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
