I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
