he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
