I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
