You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
