I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
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