Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
