So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
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