I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
