So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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