i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
