oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
