you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
