I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
So. Much. Porn.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
