I molested 6 butterflies tonight
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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