well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
God, I missed his penis.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
