Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
