I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Can't talk, ducks in the car
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize