i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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