my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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