I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize